I want to be on death panel

WARNING....I will be talking about the health care bill. The following post is what I know to be true. I am not a insurance expert, a doctor or do I work for the senate. I am a highly emotional Respiratory Therapist and a mother to a son who has a brain tumor. Please don't read the following if you think you might be offended in any way. I am at my limit of pissing people off this week.
I am going to attempt to down load the video of the Keith Obermann show at the end of this post. This post is all his fault. I have gone from caring about the health care bill to throwing up my hands in disgust. It appears bipartisanship isn't working. As much as I would love to see Obama come in and slay the Senate I also know that we won't be seeing this anytime soon. So after listening to Obermann this morning ( watching him on the net )I had to write about the truths that I know. I know I won't be nearly as articulate as Obermann but here are my truths.
I have worked in health care for over 16 years. As a RT we usually see a pt. at the very worst. We put them on life support, we take care of breathing. We say that "breathing is good". Whats the alternative.? We also see patients on life support helpless, struggling, wanting to die. The family wants everything done for the 85yr old because they are without direction. The doctor asked if they wanted some help with breathing....in the haste of the situation they say yes. Only a few doctors are willing to speak the truth. As Obermann speaks about his personal situation with his ill father he learns that having the TALK would HELP families in this situation.
Sarah Palin called this group who talked to families about comfort, wishes and help a death panel. For this reason I will always hate her. Hate is a strong word ....but so are death panels. How wonderful it would be to sit with a group of professional and actually patients. Often my job feels more like I am torturing these patients. The oath "do no harm" plays loudly in my head while I hold a head still to force a tube down a persons windpipe, While I suction a 90year old patient causing them to gag, and cry. If I could work with families who are terminal and offer comfort, easing of pain, allowing a transfer from one world to another I would serve my patients and follow my oath. I want to work for the death panels.
CSPAN showed a open debate amongst the critics of the insurance bill. I admit there has been many times I think we should throw it out and start over. But, then I look at my son and then I look at my bank statement and realize we need change NOW . Not even 4 years from now is acceptable. We have good health insurance. My husband and I have good jobs, we are also in debut up to necks. When our son got sick I was out of work to care for him. I will never regret a day of holding vigil at his bedside. Coopers brain tumor came at a cost. Not only the pain and trauma that this diagnosis holds but financially. 20$ copay sounds good till you go to the doctor 5 times a week. $10 for medicine looks good,till half of the meds your kid needs aren't on the "list " of approved medications. And we are so thankful we have insurance. The fact that Cooper will need to have his own health insurance already makes me jumpy. A 22year old with a brain tumor doesn't make him the best candidate for a insurance company.
These are the truths I know. As Obermanns ill father mouthed...HELP.