Don't I look pathetic. Sad, tired and hollow. Maybe its the weather. Rain, no sun breaks. Maybe its this time of year.Christmas is over, and I have one more birthday to plan. Maybe its the memory of this time 6 yrs ago. When I would pray at night "Please Dad don't die on my Birthday." I would feel guilty right after saying that prayer. "please don't let him suffer anymore." Then I would take a deep breath and walk into my parents room and hand my youngest ( 2month old ) to my Dad. Some how he would manage a smile and hold my baby. Some how this would bring peace to all who witnessed this event.
Grief like death is confusing.Last year I felt like I had dodged the bull.I wasn't going to be thrown down and gorged by a horn. I was OK. Again life test us. Look around and we see suffering.The fog falls. I guess the trick is to wait for the fog to lift. It always does. Maybe that's the time when I see my weak Dad holding on to Sawyer and giving me Hope.
Grief like death is confusing.Last year I felt like I had dodged the bull.I wasn't going to be thrown down and gorged by a horn. I was OK. Again life test us. Look around and we see suffering.The fog falls. I guess the trick is to wait for the fog to lift. It always does. Maybe that's the time when I see my weak Dad holding on to Sawyer and giving me Hope.
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