After a intense week, full of doubts and speculation. After sleepiness nights and worry to the point of sickness, we were once again blessed with good news. Coopers scans remain stable. Tumor Oli hasn't grown. Once home and collapsed in my bed I found it difficult not to cry. I am not sure what form these tears take. Relief, exhaustion, saddens, happiness I am not sure how to identify these feelings. Maybe I cry for all the other families who get the bad news. Maybe I cry because they need to hire another pediac oncologist because of all the new cases. Maybe I cry because there will be parents who will try to figure out how to make a choice between mortgage, food or medicine. Maybe I cry because of all the drop to your news pain that is involved with this. Maybe I cry for selfish reasons...the loss of self. Maybe I cry because , because I just need to.
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